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[Q] Bean, my favorite BeanBlog entry no longer appears on this page. What gives?
[A] It has probably been archived.

[Q] I heard you did some drawings. Where can I see them?
[A] I post links to them in my blog entries. You can see a complete directory listing of them here. Also, you can suggest my next drawing subject matter by emailing me your idea.

[Q] How did you make this blog, Bean?
[A] I used the free service available from WebCrimson.

[Q] I love your page, Bean, and I'd like shower praise upon you. How can I do this?
[A] You can email me at or leave a comment or two. will no longer be updated. All future blogs will go to I am switching to blogger because Webcrimson is too unreliable. More deets here.

Tonight's Project
Posted Monday, November 29, 2004, 1:36 pm, [link to this entry]

I'm running out of things to do.  At home, atleast.  With no impending party or wedding to plan or prepare for, I am finding my weekend and weeknight schedule strangely open.  People that know me well know that I don't like having too much "open" in my schedule.  I like to stay busy. So, tonight, I am building a cat tower.

You've seen 'em.  They are the big carpet-covered monstrosities that pet stores try to sell you for hundreds of dollars.  Well, I just happen to have a little experience building these, as I threw one together a few years ago.  It was a peice of shit, built in about 2 hours, and very unstable; but the cats loved it.  Now it's time to step up my game.

I have a lot of scrap plywood and other lumber that I have salvaged from construction site burnpiles, pre-burn.  I also happen to have a lot of carpet remnants leftover from my own carpet instilation.  Throw in a circular saw, some screws, a staple gun, and a hearty helping of "open" and something good is bound to come of it.  I'll post pics when it's done.

Cat Story
Posted Tuesday, November 23, 2004, 11:51 am, [link to this entry]

While Stef and I were soakin' up rays in Florida, our neighbors fed our cats.  Also, my parents lugged all of our gifts back to southern Indiana so we wouldn't have to leave them in our car at the airport.  Thanks ya'll, if you're reading this.

Anyway, my parents called John down to unlock my door so they could bring in the gifts.  As they carried them in, John realized that my dad had left the front door open.  He then saw Missy (black, short hair) standing at the door.  She's a chicken, so she didn't run out.  Moz (calico, short hair) was just outside on the sidewalk, and John grabbed her and threw her inside, shutting the door behind.  Jake (grey striped, long hair) was out running around chasing some other cat.  John eventually caught him and put him inside.  One more left, Kate (yellow and white, short hair).

John and my dad set out on a search for Kate.  After a while, John gives up and heads inside.  He then see's my dad walking up the drive with a cat.  He's scruffing a long haired grey cat as it thrashes and squeels.  As he walks past my mom, she says "Marty, I don't think that's Kate."  He continues on and plops the cat on the floor of our living room.  My mom said "That cat isn't even the right color." John told me that this cat was the ugliest, mangiest cat he had ever seen.  And it was mean.  Immediately, my three cats surrounded it and they all puffed up.  A 3 on 1 cat fight followed.  John asked my dad where he got that cat.  "3 houses up."  Great.  "Can't we spray paint it?" my dad said.  Long story short, they spent a while capturing the mangy grey cat and putting it outside, and Kate showed up later that night.

Married, and What's in your Milk?
Posted Monday, November 22, 2004, 3:28 pm, [link to this entry]

First blog as a married man.  Feels remarkably similar to all previous blogs.  Who knew.

Should have 4-5 hundred pictures to post at some point next week.  Joon (our photographer) took 3-4 hundred, plus we had 20 or so disposable cameras laying around, plus TP snapped a few with mine before the battery died.  Check in a week or so if you are interested.  Good tims seemed to have been had by all.

Honeymoon was great.  Nothing to do for a week.  Read a lot, smoked several cigars, and recovered from a month of party/wedding planning/attending.  Just in time for the holidays.

The night before the wedding, Rangoon, Stutz, John and I decided we would hang out for a while.  First, we stopped by the liquor store, where Stutz insisted on buying a fifth of vodka.  He kept saying we'd need more, that a fifth wasn't enough.  We convinced him it was and headed to Meijer.  There, we bought several varieties of energy drinks to mix.  My favorite was one called "Diet Rockstar."  It tasted like Red Bull and brought to mind images of a fat Elvis.  So we mixed and drank, drank and mixed, with occasional brakes to smoke cigars.  Then we went swimming.  Good tims.  We smuggeled what we had left to drink into the pool area and stayed until they kicked us out at 12:30.  We then realized Stutz was right - we ran out of vodka.  So we walked to Meijer again, this time buying beer and chips.  As we drank the beer and ate the chips, we decided to play what's in your milk.

What's in your milk is a very simple game.  Person A is it.  Person B asks him "what's in your milk?" and tells them the number of syllables their response must have.  Person A responds with whatever he wants, making sure the response has the appropriate vocal length.  Now, persons B-Z continue to ask person A other questions, of their choice, and person A has to reply using the same response as before.  The objective for person A is not to laught.  The objective for everyone else, obviously, is to make him laugh.  When he does, person B becomes it.  Repeat.  It may sounds stupid, but I tell you what, after a few drinks, it a great way to pass time and have some hearty laughs.  We played that game until 3am.

Example (a real one from that night)

  • John: Stutz, what's in your milk? 3 syllables.
  • Stutz: Stutzenate
  • John: What's this? (lifts up shirt and shows a nipple)
  • Stutz: (smiling) Stutzenate
  • John/Ben: [insert many random questions here]
  • Stutz: Stutzenate
  • Ben: How many nates does it take to screw in a natebulb?
  • Stutz: (laughs)
  • Ben: BANG!

Man oh man.  Good tims.  Good tims.

Posted Thursday, November 11, 2004, 9:07 am, [link to this entry]

I'm getting married in a few days.  2, to be exact.  It's one of those really big things that happens in ones life, right up there with procreation and ones own birth and death.  It really is a defining day, overshadowing graduations, first this-and-thats, and so many other occasions that seemed so important at the time.  So why is it that I am not a bit nervous?  Why is it that there is absolutely no anxiety built up inside of me a mere 56 hours before this monumental event?  Why do I have no fear whatsoever of committing myself completely to another person for what's left of my life?

Why?  Because the person I am going to marry leaves me with nothing to be nervous, anxious, or fearful of.  Because Stefanie is everything I need to quell any uneasiness I may have, and bring about in its place happiness, laughter, and love.  She fills my life with good things and leaves no room for the bad, reminding me everyday of how lucky I am to have found her.  I love Stefanie.  I'll love her forever.  As far as I'm concerned, the 56 hours can't tick away fast enough.

Posted Friday, November 5, 2004, 3:27 pm, [link to this entry]

I decided to create a visual representation of the ever-so-popular Trach-Bang Scale (TBS).  The icons are now available for use in my feedback! 

Posted Wednesday, November 3, 2004, 11:11 am, [link to this entry]

The election is over, Kerry is going to concede at 1pm.  We are all glad it's over.  But I have one more election blog to blog, and here it is.

I took a look at some exit polls at CNN and decided to make the  chart displayed on the right.  I think this chart should be enough to convince anyone to become a Republican.

Most people would like to have a little more income, right?  We could all use a few more bucks these days, right?  Well, according to this, the solution to your income probelm is simple: Join the Elephants!  The richer people are, the more likely they are to be Republicans.  Surely then, it holds true that the more Republican you are, the richer you will be!

Obligitory Election Blog
Posted Wednesday, November 3, 2004, 8:35 am, [link to this entry]

Well, I was watching three races - Indiana 9th District House, Indiana Governer, and of course the President.  I didn't stay up too late, but I'm happy to see this morning that they all went Republican.  Mike Sodrell beat Baron Hill by the hair on his ass, My Man Mitch destroyed Kernan, and Bush came out with the Electoral College and the majority vote.  Hooray!

I'm happy that I don't have to see the likes of Michael Moore, Al Franken, or any of the Hollywood Libs talk politics for a few years.  I'm happy that Kerry's hag of a wife is not my First Lady.  I'm happy that I can take the signs out of my yard, and stop seeing them all over town.  But most of all, I'm happy that I don't have to see any more fucking P. Diddy "Get Out the Vote" commercials.

Forever Kitten
Posted Monday, November 1, 2004, 2:11 pm, [link to this entry]

I had an idea a while back for something I call “Forever Kitten.”  It’s like NetFlix, but with cute, cuddly kittens.  Here’s a quick brainstorm:

Lay of the land
Buy a 10 acre plot of land.  It should have a small pond (may have to create that myself) and be split about 50/50 between wooded area and field or prairie.  The land should be roughly square, with the pond in the center for easy access from all areas.  The pond should be no larger than 1 acre.

Cats can jump and climb very well.  Extreme care would have to be taken to insure than a cat-proof fence was erected and maintained around the 10 acre containment area.  An electrified fence would probably work, but could be problematic in the case of a power outage.  A tall, slick concrete wall would be more reliable.  A slight inward incline or lip at the top should prevent cats from climbing when the surface is irregular.  Whichever fence is used, trees within 10 feet of the fence would have to be cut down to prevent the cats from using them as jumping platforms.  The entrance to the containment area should be a two-gate setup, with a “cat-lock” zone between the gates.

In the beginning, I’d want to start with cats that were disease free and friendly, and select a good variety.  20 cats should be enough at first.  They should be at least 6 months old and should NOT be spayed, neutered, or de-clawed.  The containment area should be quarantined before releasing the 20 seed cats to make sure no strays or predators are in there.  The most common sources of rabies in the wild are raccoons, skunks, bats, foxes, and coyotes.  These animals should be removed from the containment area.

There will be designated feeding stations throughout the containment area.  Fresh, clean water and food will be provided on a daily basis.

Reproduction – Option 1
As female become pregnant, they are removed and placed in individual holding pens adjacent to the containment area.  They remain here until the kittens are born, and for 4-5 weeks after.  The kittens can be photographed, implanted with RFID tags, vaccinated, and dewormed at during weeks 6-8 and will then be ready for shipping.  The mother is returned to the containment area.  This option would be fairly expensive, since there would have to be multiple pens and a lot of daily care given to the pregnant cats and kittens.

Reproduction – Option 2
All cats remain in the containment area at all times.  On a weekly basis, an expodition heads in to scout for kittens.  All kittens more than a few days old are taken to a kitten-rearing room outside the containment area where they are kept and “cleaned” until they are about 8 weeks old and ready for shipping.  This option would be very inexpensive but would probably come with a higher kitten mortality rate.

Forever Kitten
Subscribers would pay $60 per month for 1 Forever Kitten.  The main website will allow subscribers to select their kitten from all that are available.  Quick processing and next day shipping (or possibly courier service) will bring their kitten to them in a matter of 3-4 days.  They are free to keep the kitten as long as they like.  When they return it, they can pick out a new one.  Additional Forever Kittens are only $40.  To cancel a subscription and keep your current Forever Kitten carries a fee of $100.  There is no fee if you return the kitten.

Want more? Look in the archives for older entries.


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